Two years ago this week, we drove down to Wales and met two puppies. This sounds likes the start of a really bad joke, and for once, I promise you it isn’t. I’d already picked out his name in the back of my head, and so, when we were introduced to one of the miniature schnauzers, I just knew that he was the one. Shout out to Benson for being in my life for two years, and for bringing me such joy and comfort and for constantly trying to lick my feet. It’s not weird at all. Also, when it comes to this dog, I have totally become everything I hate. I have become one of those people who direct anniversary and birthday tweets to someone who doesn’t have social media. I’ve never understood just why that people do that. If you are people, can you please explain it to me?
Anyway, dog obsession over, this week has been marvellous. Mostly. I mean I spent an hour crying on Sunday because this diet (you may remember from last week) is slowly ruining my life and all I want is a Big Mac. Only, I am not sure I want a Big Mac, because my friends who have made it to McDonalds since its reopening have been slightly underwhelmed by the experience. But other than Sundays cryfest followed by eating 6 vegan brownies, this week has been mostly good.
In fact, there was also another incident yesterday. I woke up at 8:00am and couldn’t get my phone to turn on. I panicked because like every other 27 year old with no social life, my phone is my everything. I tried to charge it and it wouldn’t charge. I gave up and turned to my laptop to get the answers. Fast forward and my laptop also died, and then wouldn’t charge. Now, close your eyes and visualise me surrounded by tech that has no power, crying on the floor. Then, imagine me looking up with tear stained eyes to realise I hadn’t turned the plug socket on. The more I think about it, the more I come to accept the fact that maybe I haven’t had the best of weeks, this week.
The world of the beauty community on YouTube is slowly crumbling once again. I genuinely cannot keep up anymore. I miss the days where I could sit and watch a 42 minute cut crease tutorial despite having no intention of trying a cut crease. Seriously, it is exhausting to keep up with these days. And I am really tired of influencers using their mental health as an excuse. I am sick and tired of seeing them time and time again weaponise sadness. It has never and will never sit right with me. Maybe it’s because my job is to talk about mental health on the internet. Or maybe it’s because it’s my job to be very honest and raw with my own struggles. Either way, it doesn’t sit right with me when these big influencer players will hound, bully, call out, maliciously stack others and then when the script is turned the mental health card is brought into play. I just think that it is 2020 and weaponising mental health to grab the upper hand is not only tacky, but has a massive impact on those of us who live in the shit storm every single day.
We also need to take a moment to talk about I May Destroy You. In my opinion, some of the most honest and heartbreaking television we’ve seen in a long time. Without giving too much away, it follows Arabella, a writer who is raped whilst working on her book. It’s comedy, it’s dark, it’s raw and it really runs as one big juxtaposition. A dominantly black cast, and an overwhelming empowerment. Two new episodes are uploaded to iPlayer every week and I highly, highly recommend it. My only tip is not to binge it. Because it is heavy and it tackles so many issues and I think your brain needs some time to process everything before becoming overwhelmed.
Elsewhere this week, I’ve decided to ask the big questions. If you’ve followed me for a while, you’ll know that when it comes to dating, one simple question tells me everything I need to know about my potential match. I mean, I should also ask if they are married, if my track record is anything to go by. But, the one question I like to ask to define a character is “If you could be a biscuit – any biscuit, what biscuit would you be and why?”. Now, you don’t want to date a Rich Tea and you’ll get bored of the people saying they would be a HobNob because they love a good dunking. Just for the record, I am a Jammie Dodger. Tough exterior, soft heart. But, last night I tried out my new favourite question on the boy I fancy and some of my friends.
“Would you still be with me if I was a mermaid forced to perform at Seaworld?”
Hear me out. If they say no, then that’s just rude and you must dispose of them immediately. If they say yes, but ask questions such as ‘can I have free tickets?’ Then maybe stay with them but keep your eye open for the fact that they are quite clearly looking for a way to your wallet. The answer you want here is that they will come and save you. Maybe they will type out the plot of Free Willy, or perhaps they would offer to grab a crowbar to break you out. That’s the level of commitment we are looking for, pals.
I have some really funky and creative music for you this week. It comes in the form of Sonikku and his album Joyful Death. It’s not what I was expecting it to be, but in the best possible way.
Until next week my Party Rings,